Tales From a Female Traveller

THE BIGNESS OF THINGS

Recently, a friend and I took a road trip and along the way vistited many BIG attractions including the Big Banana. It was getting on a bit in the afternoon and the gift shop and cafe were already closed, so we decided to do the Sky Walk, which at the top overlooks the best of Coffs Harbour. So after checking closing times on nearby signs, up we trekked through the Banana Trees, taking pictures as we went. After we reached the top and "Ooohed" and "Aaahed" at the view it was time to head back down again. As we were chatting about how odd it was to have a snow sled in the middle of a tropical attraction we came upon the gate at the bottom... and guess what.... yep... it was closed and LOCKED.
We turned to each other and cracked up with laughter at the thought of spending a night amongst a Banana plantation.
"How are we gonna get out?" I cracked to my friend.
"Hmmm..." he replied. And before I could splutter a "are you Cra.." he had jumped over the railing of the sidewalk and was on his way through the bananas to fetch someone with a key to let us out.
I turned back to the gate muttering to myself what a great story this was gonna make....

**flash forward to real life where she takes a phonecall from an irate customer complaining that calling the company was costing 1 cent per second and could she "frigging" put him through to "Peter" (there's 15 Peter's in the company) right now or he'll send a letter.... oooh... yeah okay... I'll "frigging" put you through... let me just put you on hold for a short while... meaning for as long as you hold before hanging up..constantly amazes me how they think they can be rude to the front desk and expect to actually GET somewhere.. it's funny how he rings complaining it's costing him, hangs up.. then calls back and repeats the process.. like.. hello.. why keep calling?------------------Flash back to actual block after a hole is gone**

So anyway, before I was so RUDELY interrupted... I turned back to the gate, decided to sit down on the steps in the shade to wait.. Byron was taking an unusal amount of time to get me outta there... had he forgotten? had something gone wrong in the banana trek? My mind ran wild... So I sat patiently watching all the other tourists leave in their cars.

After what seemed like and age Byron appears under the Sky Walk and proclaims rather distressingly.. "nope".
"Nope what?"
"They won't let us out"
------silence-------
"WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO!!!??" I cried.
He shrugs. "I went to the office, and they saw me coming and closed the door. So I knocked on the door and told them that my friend was locked in."
"And what did they say???"
"Well, they weren't particularly nice. They were like "'Didn't you read the signs?"'
"WHAT signs?!!" I said sarcastically
He shrugs again.
"So.... I'm just supposed to stay up here all night until they decide to mosey on into work tomorrow?"
"I asked if there was a key they could lend me and they said they'll ask the manager. They turn around and yell to him in the back about the key, and he yells back to tell me the manager has gone home with the key."
I laugh in disbelief.
"So... while you were standing there listening and watching everything they spoke to the manager who told them to tell you he'd gone home?!"
"Yup. They said that the only way to get out was to walk all the way back to the top of the Sky Walk and come back down through the Bananas and jump the fence."
I thought for a minute while I looked blankly at my friend.
"I'll climb back up the railing and do the walk back up with you." he offers.
--------silence-------
"You know what.... I'm jumping the railing!" I exclaim bravely, ignoring my fear of heights for exactly 4.5 seconds until I actually look over. "BUT..... I'm in a SKIRT!!" I stall.
At that moment the two people he had spoken to about a key had seen me and decided that that's when they'd try and be helpful. But me having the stubborn personality trait I do when someone treats me like I'm incapable I got that "screw you I'm doing it" look on my face.
"You can do it. I'll help you." cheers my friend.
So he points me round to a corner of the walkway where the beams all meet and instructs me to hand him the cameras and climb over the railing....backwards...
SO... skirt and all... over I went... trembling with utter fear at falling through the Banana Trees and into a small but strategically placed set of mushrooms.
Halfway down my friend lifts me in an 'Over the Threshold' kind of way and places me carefully amongst the mushrooms.
"HA!!!!" I yelled conqueringly "I don't need YOU and your stupid key!!!!" I say to no one in particular.
I felt so big at that point. Like I could have taken on anything. But then the disbelief that the staff were so unwilling to help kicked in and my bitching started.
"How could they just say NO!!! What if I was a mother and my 5 year old daughter was LOST amongst those Bananas!! HUH!!! What would they have done THEN!!??"
" I know" he says, "And did you see their reaction when they saw WHO was stuck on the Sky Walk?"
"YEAH... it's like... all of a sudden they wanted to help because they saw I was a chick and didn't think I would make it over."
And that's precisely what happened. Their conscious got them. But you know, it shouldn't have been that way. How hard would it have been to just unlock gate with the key the manager who had gone home had with him in the back room?
One thing is for sure though.. we laughed about it that night after the rediculousness of it all had occured to us.

The Big Banana wasn't the only such attraction we visted.
There was also the Big Oyster.... which had NOTHING to do with Oysters at all, in fact.. it was the sale office of a car dealership.
There was the Big Prawn... which we decided NOT to venture up to have our photo taken in the massive eyeballs for fear of being fishfood for the night.
There was the Big Golden Guitar...
And there was also a Big Lawnmower..... go figure.... someone sure does like their mowers.

The biggest part of this story... is my biting the bullet and jumping that railing... turns out it wasn't so big after all. Next stop.... bungee jumping....(without the skirt and cameras.... okay.. so maybe a disposable one as I go to my death)

posted by Lucyspeak @ 4:27 pm